It’s Women’s History Month.
“[Anything] for women” shouldn’t be a thing.*
Sadly, due to our society and conditioning, it is.
The good news: I’m here to help.

I do not believe women and men are fundamentally different. We’re all people. But that’s not how the world works.

Girls are (still) conditioned differently than boys. We hear different messages than boys do. The “rules” we are tacitly given are often contradictory.

And this impacts how we present, how we communicate, and how we behave in the workplace. Too often, women - no matter how excellent they are at their jobs, no matter how well they know the content - don’t speak with strength. (Watch “Jeopardy!” some time and note the difference between the male and female players.)

Women, females, girls: Below are 3 simple things you can do to strengthen your speaking skills. pssst….men can use these tips, too. 😉

3 Ways to Speak with Strength

  1. Avoid apologies and qualifiers

    Girls are conditioned to “be nice” and this often shows up later in life as apologies when no apologies are needed:

    • Saying “sorry” when you need to squeeze past someone

    • “I’m sorry - Kaitlyn is out ill and can’t run the meeting; I guess you’re stuck with me.”

    • Qualifying:
      “I’ve only been on the team for a week, so I’ll try to do my best…”

    This has the effect of drawing attention to a negative - when there was no negative to begin with. You just created a negative. AND: You also just took your credibility and strength down a notch.

    Skip the apologies and qualifiers, and dive into your meeting, presentation, message, etc. BTW: This applies to email, too! Stop it with the, “I don’t mean to bother you, but…..” emails. Say your thing. Ask your ask. Get to it.

    Another important note: Do apologize when you truly have done something wrong. I once spilled coffee on someone’s desk during a presentation. I apologized and cleaned it up.

  2. Don’t ask for permission. Inform.

    I was in Kansas on a training assignment about 10 years ago. On the day I was set to fly home, a snowstorm buried the entire area, cancelling all flights. I called my manager to tell her it looked like I was stuck. She had to call our training contact, in Pennsylvania, to let her know.

    ”Are you going to ask if it’s okay for me to stay one more day?” I asked.

    ”No,” my manager replied, “I’m going to inform her you’ll be staying one more day.”

    This was a powerful lesson for me.

    And I’m seeing the same thing happen with many of my female clients. One client, who is in charge of a large account, caught herself asking her cohorts for permission to do X when it came to the account work - and it was her account!

    She now informs her team what she is doing with her account.

  3. Mind your body language.

    Women tend to be the listeners, the caretakers, the nurturers. We also have the same anxieties other people have in public speaking situations.

    What this means is that your body language can scream - and not always in a good way. Tilting your head to one side and listening may be a natural motion, but it reads weaker than keeping your head straight up.

    Twirling your hair when nervous, or when you don’t know what to do with your hands, screams “I’m still an eighth grade girl!”

    Ask a trusted friend to watch you present and give you honest feedback, or better yet; set up your phone so it records you during parts of your day. Then watch the video! What do you look like in meetings? Presentations?

    In my presentation skills workshops, we give feedback on everyone’s presentations, including the body language. Nine times out of ten, when we tell participants: “You rock from side to side” or “You twirl your hair when you’re taking questions,” they’re unaware of it.

    Much like the qualifiers and apologies, weak body language can ding your credibility. Smooth it out.


I lead workshops for women’s groups on presenting and speaking with strength. Need a lesson in speaking confidently or eliminating the apologies and qualifiers? Hit me up!

* except tampons and pads and gynecological care. Those are for women.



About The Author

Hi! I’m Marianna. I can teach you how to speak with strength and confidence. In addition to Presentation Skills workshops, I offer executive coaching and speaking. To learn more, Get in touch.

Marianna Swallow

Kick-ass public speaking coach. Always fun, always compassionate, always looking to make your presentations easier

https://mariannaswallow.com
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